Just in time for VD.....;-) Cord Cutting

Here's to a healthy relationship!!!!!!

Cord Cutting
by Sarah Judith Cole, OBT,

We are always in the process of becoming, giving birth to who we are at this moment. In this process, there are also the little deaths, the letting go of that which no longer serves us. This includes old relationships, old ways of acting, reacting, and interacting. Cord cutting is a way of releasing the energy that we are still clinging to that is outdated.  The process of "Cord Cutting" is based on the premise that when we enter into relationship with a person; wether it be romantic, friendship, familial, business, professional or otherwise, an energetic thread or cord is activated. As we move through life, often these relationships are no longer what we need or want them to be. "Cord Cutting" allows for the energetic thread that has been running to be cut. Relationships don't have to end, but this allows for new beginnings instead of being trapped in the past.

Sometimes, we want relationships to end, such as when you are no longer in a relationship with a lover. Every time you enter into such a relationship, particularly one that leads to sexual involvement, an energetic thread is started. If the relationship continues, the thread gets stronger. Often, people can feel this, or have an intuitive sense of what is going on with their partner. This is due to the energetic connection. Even relationships that are ended, years later there still can be a tapping in.

Also, as children of our parents, as we grow we wish to have a more adult relationships with our parents. Cord cutting can help to break that old way of interacting with each other, of being seen as the child and parent and allow the relationship to evolve.  As parents, and as our children grow. we need to have different relationships with them, to stop seeing them as little and needing our help.  Business partnerships that are no longer valid, also have energetic streams connected with them, that need to be broken.

All these relationships carry an attachment, a stream of energy, and unfortunately it is often a stream that holds us down and saps our energy. From time to time, we all have experienced various "energy vampires" and these definitely need to be broken. When we have helped a friend through a trying situation, or become caregivers, we need to cut the cord.  As that person moves through their situation, this allows for the growth of the relationship to enter into a new phase.

Even in happy marriages, from time to time we need to do this. Generally speaking, as we grow older and mature, we become more mentally healthy as we give up old ideas, and expectations, and come into our own definitions of who we are. This is true in marriages as well. The needs and expectations differ, as we come to redefine our idea of marriage, and therefore, cutting cords, can allow for this growth and maturity. It is very important when relationships are ended that we cut the cord. This can even help us with the grieving process of letting go of someone, whether through death, or the ending of the relationship. With relationships that are ongoing, it creates the space for new levels of connection, and can add freshness to the relationship. Where there is discord, it can cut that discord, and allow for new perspectives. It can be particularly useful with co-workers who we have had problems with, and those who tend to "get under our skin" or push our buttons, and grate on our nerves. It can provide the space for us to detach and perhaps see what is really going on.

If you find yourself dreaming about someone, or about things in the past and not getting anywhere, doing a cord cutting can be useful. It can help stop the psychic negativity that may be coming your way from others. Remember, thoughts are energy and like prayers, so the above may not be about someone who is negative, but may actually be well intentioned. This would include those who "worry" about you. These people are often well-intentioned but don't know how to express their love and concern in a more positive way. Cutting cords can help you not to receive their projections, and may help them to also evolve into perceiving you differently.

Worrying about someone is not a measure of someone's love, but a measure of their ability to worry. It is a trap that mothers can often fall into, because we are taught to worry about our children--if we don't worry about them, we don't love them. But you know, generally speaking, when your kids are in their 20's it is no longer necessary to have eyes in the back of your head, and be focused on what your children are doing all the time. It would be useful for all mothers, to do cord cutting concerning their children throughout their growth years with us. If we keep perceiving them as small and helpless, or not capable of making good decisions on their own, they will act that way. At some point, you really do have to let go. This includes the old dysfunctional patterns of interactng that society has taught us.  We may not realize it, but often we have illusions about relationships, and our own perceptions about who we think we are and who we think the other person is. Doing this work, will help you to cut through this, and begin to have a new outlook.

Cord cutting requires a certain amount of energy and is not passive, therefore, it is best done when you are well rested, and relaxed. While being active, (as opposed to asking God to do this for you) it is also quite intentional, so being firm in your intent to let go is important. You don't have to enjoy letting go, you just have to be intent on letting go, knowing that this needs to happen for the good of all. Sometimes the letting go is not easy and we want to hold on. Try to remember that you're doing this for the highest good of all involved. It doesn't mean you no longer have a connection, bond or relationship with that person, it's just a healthier connection, one that can help to heal both parties and most often, make the relationship interaction much more enjoyable.

 *****As an aside for healers***** We are not here to allow others to suck off of us and every once in a while we will come into contact with someone who wants to do just that. One of the things that a healer does is help hold the balance while someone is going through the process of a healing work. Part of our work as healers is to help in this, and then, as soon as possible, help the person to build their own resources of healing. (Working with essential oils, natural supplements, etc. can help people learn how to become their own healers.) Practicing cord cutting is very important for healers to help break attachments that our clients have formed with us. Even if the relationship continues, it's in everyone's best interest for the relationship to evolve.

It's best to do cord cutting at a time when you can be alone and are assured of not being interrupted. Have yourself in a prayerful meditative state and well grounded. Diffusing or applying oils such as spruce, cedarwood, sage, & lavender can make the process easier, and more complete. Using lavender & geranium on the feet and lemon on the liver can be helpful because we process emotion (particularly anger) through the liver.  Also, for relationships in which we may have "unfinished business", applying melissa, frankincense and ravensara on the navel area is helpful.

The energetic streams by which we are attached to others, can run throughout all of our energetic body. Your energetic body surrounds you and even goes into the earth as well as above your head. Cutting cords is a little like pulling weeds. Just as in pulling weeds, you have to get the entire root out; this is true also with cutting cords. Another strong aspect of cutting cords is visualization and breathing; taking long full breaths and strong exhalations, releasing as you exhale.

It's not uncommon to experience a wide range of emotions while doing this and its very important to let these emotions come up.  These emotions hold and carry energy and allowing the emotions out is part of the process.

You can change this according to fit your own particular spiritual beliefs. Allow yourself to become centered and grounded, feeling your connection to the earth.  Ask your spiritual guides, saints, angels, etc. to help you with this process. You can also ask to have your Higher Self as well.  Archangel Michael, specifically, is associated with Cord Cutting.  You will be visualizing him using his sword to help you cut the cords, so when you are ready invite him to assist you in the process. The beings you have called on will be lending energy in this ceremony, but it is you who has to cut the cords. No one will do this for you.  The beings will help in clearing the energy from your fields, but you must start the process.  Even if you are not able to feel anything trust that this process is happening.  Allow yourself a few minutes to feel the energies you are calling upon, to feel your lower chakras being grounded in the earth and your top four chakras opening and receiving the sustaining assisting energies of those you have invited and asked for help.

You can say the following to yourself or out loud:   "I now cut and release the cords of this relationship with (say the name)".  While you are saying this visualize Archangel Michael cutting the cords all around your body with his sword, in every direction; above your head, below your feet, in front of you, behind you and on both sides. You may find as you do this that some cords may be more concentrated in the navel, or heart area. Sexual relationships may be concentrated more in the lower chakras, while relationships that made your stomach churn maybe more in the solar plexus area. Relationships that seem to mentally tax you may be more in the top three chakras. Relationships that have been more joyful, generally are more diffused throughout the whole energetic field, they still need to be cut to allow for new growth. In some ways you are tending your energetic relationship garden, and things have to be cut to allow for energy for new growth. Continue to say the name of the person whom you are cutting cords as you do this. When you feel you are finished with that person/relationship/ pause and let yourself feel it, and scan, get your sense of whether or not you think you are done with this particular relationship, then go on to others. It is best not to overtire yourself and only do a few relationships in one cord cutting ceremony. Start with the ones that are most foreground for you, the ones that seem to occupy your mind and heart the most. This could be someone from your past. Those who have experienced abuse, who have been attacked, raped, mugged, etc, start with that one first, even if you don't know the name, say "the person who stole my purse and knocked me down, and give the date). For some, you may also need to say goodbye, I release and let you go. (remember to say their name or give explanation of the relationship)

When the cords have been cut, surround yourself with a beautiful cocoon of glowing, white light, and state:  "I now am willing to connect with my Divine Source of energy, and I allow only the Highest Vibration of Love to connect me to others, and others to me."  Allow your heart to really open and feel your connection to yourself and the Divine. In doing this ceremony you have created a void which is replaced by this divine light and more of your higher Self.  While you are bringing in and receiving the Highest Light and more of your Higher Self, you can begin to allow yourself to fill up with gratitude and start thanking those who have helped you in this ceremony.

Now is a good time for you to simply relax and rest. Even though you are done with the ceremony, the work is still going on, as the work ripples outwards and the energy streams are dissolved as they go back to the time, person and relationship.  I also find it helpful to imagine a divine white light going back to the person on the end of the severed cord.  I imagine this light filling them up as it reaches them, helping to heal anything they may need help with regarding our relationship.  I like to burn sage or an alternate clearing incense to help clear the energy of the space after you have done a cord cutting.

With relationships that are ongoing, such as with children and spouses, bosses, parents, you might want to do this a couple of times a year. You may find also with old relationships, that something new about them as come up for you that represents another aspect that you weren't aware of before, that also needs to be cleared out. Generally speaking, it's not recommend to do cord cuttings more than once a month. We need time to process and assimilate the work we have done. Cutting Cords is a cleansing and clearing ceremony. Respect the work you have done, honor yourself, and the work, and allow time for yourself to have new perspectives.

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